


The First Night

by SlowestPoke



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Elezen Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), F/M, I don't know how tags work, Lalafell Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Multiple Warriors of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), POV Third Person, POV Third Person Limited, Roegadyn Warrior of Light, Short One Shot, Walking In On Someone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:08:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22517518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlowestPoke/pseuds/SlowestPoke
Summary: All Kill wanted was to sleep but noooooo...
Relationships: G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Warrior of Light, Krile Mayer Baldesion & Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7
Collections: The Idiots of Light and Darkness





	The First Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DraiochtEve](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DraiochtEve/gifts), [Pizza_Panda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pizza_Panda/gifts).



He was going to kill them, just live up to his nickname and strangle them to death, and he’d start with _her_ first. Killian rolled over, looking for some way to tell what Twelve-forsaken time of night it was and finding none. He shouldn’t have been surprised, this shard had only just seen nightfall for the first time in over one hundred years, so of course they wouldn’t have a way to tell time in darkness. He resolved to see about making a clock for the room, perhaps teach the Crystarium craftsmen and scholars how-

His thoughts were interrupted by the very noise that awake him in the first place: the sound of bedsprings being abused down the hall, the creak of wood stressed to its limits.

Japhinne and the Exarch’s room.

Muttering darkly to himself, he twisted away from the Krile plushie that she had given him as a reminder of her when he was on the First and got dressed in more than his smallclothes, intent on giving them an earful. Would it kill them to be considerate? Not like the _rest of them_ were getting any, she didn’t have to rub it in. Now where was his- AH! He donned a light blue shirt and, quietly as he could, left his room in the tower. Kill knew he should have walked to the inn room last night, the Exarch had spent years readying the rooms for the Warriors’ arrival in an effort to perfect them (if not moreso for one in particular), but he had been too beat to walk much further than the tower itself. Cara seemed much the same way, and it’s not like Japhinne was going to leave the Exarch’s side anytime soon.

Gods the floor was cold! Had to do this quickly before his feet succumbed to frostbite, and if he didn’t that’d be one more thing to give Japhinne an earful about. He kept to his path, driven by irritation and willpower alone. Midway through he stopped at the door to Cara’s room, maybe she was awake too? If so, she might like to give them a talking to as well. Or, knowing Cara, pull up a chair and make commentary.

On second thought it would definitely be the latter.

Still, her presence might be enough to make G’raha- because, let’s be honest, to those that knew him he wasn’t fooling anyone- stop their dalliance for the rest of the evening. So, having made up his mind, he turned the doorknob as silently as he could, poked his head in, and was greeted with a cacophony of a dull roar. ‘Of course the Roe could sleep through this,’ he thought, scoffing lightly. Probably sounded like a lullaby to her. And how did Aymeric get _any_ sleep with her being that loud? Wax? Had to have been wax or cotton in his ears.

Rolling his eyes, he shrugged and closed the door, the hallway gracefully descending into silence once more. Huh, maybe they had stopped for th- nope, nope, there it was. That infernal squeaking stemming from the lavish doors at the end of the hall; his ire once more directed he resumed following the noise.

The doors he approached this time were more ornate than he had thought at first glance. He’d done quite a bit of work as a goldsmith, so he had seen his fair share of pretty pieces, but this door… damn. The gold inlay was magnificently done, not a single line out of place, and here and there were set sapphires of the highest quality. The door itself seemed, like the rest of the tower, to be made of a single piece of crystal, as flawless as the rest. He marveled at this Allag engineering, a work of art in so simple an object, before catching himself. Damn fatigue was making his attention go everywhere, had to stay focused. He rubbed his eyes with one hand before massaging his face with both palms. Gods he was so tired…

Then he had an idea. Oh a deliciously wicked idea: he’d spook them while they were in the middle of their rut. Nothing killed a libido like a sudden startle followed up by a conversation; to which he could attest personally on the matter, Japhinne and Cara having almost walked in on he and Krile in a particularly _compromising_ situation. He’d time it just right, when the squeaking had reached a point where there was no going back. He smiled devilishly at the thought of not only blueballing Japhinne but also getting a good night’s rest on top of that, readying himself for… NOW!

“OI, CAN’T A GUY G-,” the words died in his mouth at the scene in front of him. Why was G’raha squeaking? All that sound wasn’t the bed? That was G’raha Tia? JAPH WAS ON TOP BUT NOT RIDING AND HE WAS SQUEAKING LOUD ENOUGH TO-

Killian Faester, hero of Light and whom had faced dragons, Primals, and potential Cataclysms, ran down the hallway to the safety of his room. Nope, his mind wasn’t ready for that. He was not prepared. Twelves-damned fool that he was he should have been but he wasn’t. He climbed into bed, if climbing could be done at a near run and a panicked dive under the covers, and cuddled Krile close to him, her softness promising refuge from this madness.

Fuck this, he was going to the Source in the morning and never coming back.

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of my first stories, with which I used characters from Draiocht and Kerbie and the shenanigans our characters get up to, go read their stuff for heathenry. It was inspired by a tiktok; no heathens or popotoes were harmed in the writing of this fic. Feel free to offer critiques, commentary, whatever; I appreciate the feedback.


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